Girl code

Can you please take a picture of me?” I asked a girl in a green ensemble at the Venice beach boardwalk. As soon as she nodded, I placed my phone in her palm and lurched for the rings swing.

There I was, suspended midair, legs dangling freely above the Venice beach sand. The strain in my shoulders was tempting me to release my grip but I held on. The warm pacific wind whirled around my legs, tickling my inner thigh, inching the orange silk dress higher up my hip….

In the dizzying delight of the moment, I heard a group of girls cheering.

“Go girl.”

“Work it then.” Emboldened, I willed my awkward legs to contort into an acrobatic move, but all they could do was sway and dangle. It took all of 2 minutes for my stamina to expire. I unclenched my fingers and tumbled onto the sand.

The girl in green placed my phone in my hands and reached for the swing. She fastened her hands in the rings and in a fluid movement, she somersaulted in the air. It had never occurred to me that I could use the strength of my upper body to urge the rest of my body into various positions. But before I could gasp, she had folded her body in two and flipped in the air. My jaws parted in awe. Whereas my legs had just dangled, her body inspired positions I could not even imagine… How do you respond when someone can do something better than you? What do you do when they look better than you, earn more than you or dress better than you? Does the familiar sensation of envy shoot through your veins and cause you to tear them down with slit eyes and snide comments?

As I watched the lady in green twirl and roll, a familiar sensation surged through me and made me scream: “You go girl. Work it. Higher, higher…”

When she unfurled her body onto the ground, I rushed her.

“Hey, look, I took pictures of you.” I grinned, tilting my iPhone in her direction.

“Oh wow, they are beautiful! Could you send them to me?” she replied.

For a split second, I thought of the roaming charges I would incur, but damnit! The moment was too blissful not to be shared. I hit send. Here’s a new girl code, next time you see another woman doing something better than you, applaud them. Then take a moment and capture their success it in your heart. What they did may look effortless, but chances are it took them years of training to get there. With hard work, one day, you can be just like them or even better.


6 thoughts on “Girl code

  1. I love this! The ending in particular. It is so true… you never know the journey the next person you are admiring or envying had gone through to make it that far. Cheer them on!! Thank you for writing this and including me.

    I am the girl in the green I was there with some students of mine having a little day at the beach. You didnt know that… but we were happy to cheer you on because that is what we do in class I have been teaching women how to lift their own body weight for the last 4 years and only conditioned myself to lift my own body weight like 2 years before that and it is still a struggle at times.

    I had never been an athlete, never did gymnastics, couldnt do a pull up, or climb a rope to save my life and in fact suffer from Asthma all my life. At 35 I decided to learn how to pole dance (for my hubby), which made me stronger and now I teach it full time as a career and I’m 42. You never know where life will lead you. I just thank God that I have my health, strength and agility and now admirers of that strenght. It’s awesome!

    There will always be someone stronger, fitter, more “fabulous’ than you give yourself credit for but enjoy your successes!

    First you asked a stranger to document your journey - which many hesitate to do. Then you actually attempted the rings! Do you kow how many people just walk by, wishing they could try - when they CAN try - but they dont. Afraid of what they will look like. Then you actually held on long enough for me to get some - what I think are pretty cool photos - which you will forever remember. Not to mention you were traveling from another Country and you were at the beach, exploring, by yourself!!! KUDOS to you!!! You are wonderful and I am very glad we met! Best to you always!

    • Girl in green, your comment brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for lifting the young women you work with. I will remember that the victory is in the trying.

  2. It’s a small world. I love this encounter between the two of you. Girls must support each other rather. Let’s stand beside each other and it doesn’t even matter if we are only strangers.

    • We must do this everyday. We must remember to hook a Sista up, give a Sista a hand and always be their loudest cheerleaders

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>