There is a bottle of perfume sitting in my lower drawer. I bought it for a really special person several weeks ago but I haven’t found the time to give it to her. Nowadays, time is just one of the list of things I don’t have. I could give you a rundown of this List but like I said, I don’t have time and the list is very very long.
I live on lists. Infact, I start each day with a list of things that I have to do - the semi-important ones are diarized in my phone, the very important are scribbled on Post-it notes and the super important are inked on the back of my hand. Lists remind me to be productive and keep me from procrastinating. But the sinister aspect of constantly reminding yourself of what has to be done is you begin to obssess over things you have not done and you quickly link your happiness to how many things on the list you’ve completed.
Unfortunately, I am addicted to lists, so apart from my to-do list, I also own the rights to a ‘have-not’ list. This is a list of all the things I wish I had in my life. The interesing thing about this list is the more I think about it, the longer it gets. Sounds wierd. I know. But try it. Say for instance you start thinking you need a new bed, you will automatically think, “oh and new bedding, new drapes, and matching carpet”. Then you will suddenly remember that you can neither afford the new bed nor the drapes because you are in a low-paying job with a boss who would just love to fire you. Before you know it, you have a long list of reasons why your life sucks. So, you create a list of ways to un-suck your life, but when you don’t complete everything on that list…
Today, I have decided to stop using lists to magnify what I don’t have and use them to detail what I have. I can already think of one - the beautiful Lancome perfume in my drawer. In a few hours, I am going to surprise my friend Maggie with this. I also have a warm hug to give her to thank her for being so kind to me. Least I forget, let me grab my phone, no my hand, I have a new to-do: ‘Amma, Remember to give thanks’. What’s on your list?
photo credit: www.thewallquoteshop.com