Oh no she din’t

Even as I type, I can still taste a tinge of jealousy in my mouth (details to follow).
I have been judiciously counting down to the season premier of the Oprah show. I started with my toes, and by the time I reached the fifth and final finger, I needed Lamaze classes to regulate my breathing. It proved to be worthy investment because this was one action packed show. Lady O glided in with John Travolta and the audience went wild. They screamed so much you could hardly hear Oprah welcome them to the show.

I was following along happily until the 40th minute mark when Oprah started hinting at a destination surprise. Now you know Lady O does not believe in small surprises. So even before she mentioned the location, some started weeping, others grasped at shoulders for support, all were trembling in sheer anticipation because Lady O was about to blow their socks all the way to Australiaaaaaaaa. “U and U and U and U and U are going to Australiaaaa…” but wait a minute not me:(( …Even as I type, I can still taste tinge of jealousy in my mouth… As I rubbed the goosebumps off my arms and dabbed my tears with my knuckles, I started to hum “ Oh how I want to be in that number…” Oh Messiah , you know I want my own hand on heart moment, sitting in the crowd of 300 smelling Oprah’s hair spray. Yes, I am a proud an Oprahlite*. I watch her daily at 2pm ,7pm and on repeat at 1pm the next day. At work I schedule my lunch around the show. I don’t take calls from my boss or my clients between the hours of 2pm and 3pm. Commercial break is when I turn from the TV and make eye contact with my colleagues in the lunch room. They know the ritual, they respect the ritual but it cracks them up when I am in the ‘zone’. They keep asking how I am going to cope after this seaaon is over. I am not sure yet. I need to find a health plan that will cover the separation anxiety raging through me. Until then, I am going to HAVE to share my anxieties and nostalgia with you cyber friends. Stock up on Kleenex

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