Facebook depression


FOMO (aka Fear Of Missing Out) is a rare strain of depression caused by unbillable hours spent on Facebook. FOMO is triggered by clicking on megapixels upon megapixels of glamour, fun and entertainment absent in your life and abundantly evident in somebody’s facebook.com.Symptoms of FOMO are self loathing, despair and finally, abject misery. Self loathing sets in when you compare and contrast the realities of your life with somebody’s choreographed kodak moments. So whilst you don’t remember the last time you blew out a candle, John just uploaded 103 pictures of his birthday party which featured a Louis Vuitton cake and the most beautiful people you wish you knew. As you prance around in your flannel pyjamas breast feeding your 3 year old, Rosa shared photos of her beach vacation. You look at the results of Pilates on her thighs, you see the friends, the smiles, the joy… and you reach for a cookie. You are in despair.

When you thought things could not get worse, you receive a news feed from Happy Mommy. Whilst your 5 year old rugrat can’t blow his own nose, Happy Mommy just posted that her 3 month genius just spelt ‘dinosaur’ . Life is so unkind. Before you could wallow further, your thoughts are interrupted by cousin Kwame. His status reads “Thank God, for my cup runneth over.” And why wouldn’t it. His page boasts of a Harvard undergrad, a Stanford Masters and pictures of a sprawling mansion. Life has truly been a friend to some and an enemy to you. How else can you explain why you keep struggling to make ends meet when others are bathing in success. Tears swell in your eyes, you reach for another cookie and soak in abject misery.

When you are done, you can reach for anti depressants or you can wake up to the realization that Facebook is not an accurate reflection of life. Notice how nobody shows a picture of themselves just after they popped a pimple or after a fight with their spouse? Well it is because with Facebook, you can censor what people see and know of your life. For example, If you go to facebook.com/amma.bonsu, you will see a 2010 picture of a lovely girl who has the whole package. Focus on the picture and hate yourself. When you are done, scroll down and check out the real deal as of April 24th 2011.

Scary stuff huh? Now I hope you know better than to judge yourself through the lens of Facebook. Happy Easter y’all

5 thoughts on “Facebook depression

  1. Oh heavenly mercy!! What is that on your face…toothpaste?
    Can you tell me why, then, someone would flag/report the image of my uterus on Facebook??? You're the super sleuth after all.

  2. I will call it envy if seeing other peoples ''choreographed kodak moments'' can get you depressed. I believe it should rather get you on your toes, that is if you believe you are slugging. If any body will believe that those kodak moments mean, NO PROBLEMS what's so ever in those beautiful peoples lives then they are naive. We have all been advised by wisdom, our parents, teachers and elders not to ''wash our dirty linens in public'' and to always ''put our best foot forward'' and we've heeded to this advice. Besides, in this life, you can not be happy, successful etc all the time. It's the reason we jubilate when we triumph, we do this because we know success, happiness, joy is not perpetual.
    I agree with you on the excesses of some though, especially those who are making their children into Einsteins, geeez!!! it's so fake. But who cares, they know it's not true, so why bother comparing them to yours ( I mean comparing your kids to their Einstein kids) In a visual world anything can be made to look good, it epitomizes ''Things are not always what they seem'' so get a grip!  ;-)   Life is great, sad, lovely, sorrowful, beautiful and I can go on and on and on but NO virtual world is ever used to really judge LIFE AS IT really IS.
    Happy Ascension y'all!

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