FOMO (aka Fear Of Missing Out) is a rare strain of depression caused by unbillable hours spent on Facebook. FOMO is triggered by clicking on megapixels upon megapixels of glamour, fun and entertainment absent in your life and abundantly evident in somebody’s facebook.com.Symptoms of FOMO are self loathing, despair and finally, abject misery. Self loathing sets in when you compare and contrast the realities of your life with somebody’s choreographed kodak moments. So whilst you don’t remember the last time you blew out a candle, John just uploaded 103 pictures of his birthday party which featured a Louis Vuitton cake and the most beautiful people you wish you knew. As you prance around in your flannel pyjamas breast feeding your 3 year old, Rosa shared photos of her beach vacation. You look at the results of Pilates on her thighs, you see the friends, the smiles, the joy… and you reach for a cookie. You are in despair.
When you thought things could not get worse, you receive a news feed from Happy Mommy. Whilst your 5 year old rugrat can’t blow his own nose, Happy Mommy just posted that her 3 month genius just spelt ‘dinosaur’ . Life is so unkind. Before you could wallow further, your thoughts are interrupted by cousin Kwame. His status reads “Thank God, for my cup runneth over.” And why wouldn’t it. His page boasts of a Harvard undergrad, a Stanford Masters and pictures of a sprawling mansion. Life has truly been a friend to some and an enemy to you. How else can you explain why you keep struggling to make ends meet when others are bathing in success. Tears swell in your eyes, you reach for another cookie and soak in abject misery.
When you are done, you can reach for anti depressants or you can wake up to the realization that Facebook is not an accurate reflection of life. Notice how nobody shows a picture of themselves just after they popped a pimple or after a fight with their spouse? Well it is because with Facebook, you can censor what people see and know of your life. For example, If you go to facebook.com/amma.bonsu, you will see a 2010 picture of a lovely girl who has the whole package. Focus on the picture and hate yourself. When you are done, scroll down and check out the real deal as of April 24th 2011.
Scary stuff huh? Now I hope you know better than to judge yourself through the lens of Facebook. Happy Easter y’all