Afro Bourgie

Afro Bourgie: Black, educated and established
If you are reading this post, chances are you are Afro Bourgie or you know a card carrying member of this global guild. They are people of African or Carribean descent whose elite lifestyle or mannerisms places them in a universal upper middle class status.

To identify them, you don’t need a composite sketch or a pathologist. First, pay attention to their English, it will betray too many summers holidays spent in Europe or America. The francophone ones speak Fran├žais like they live in the exclusive quarters of Paris’ 2eme arrondissement. If you know what arrondissement is, give yourself 5 points. Do complete the remainder of the test below to find out if you are a part of this guild.

1. Do you call more than one country home? 6 points
2. Did you receive any part of your education abroad? 5 points
3. Did you attend a preppy boarding school? 5 points
4. Did you attend a private school and then follow it up with a degree program in a preppy university? 5 points
5. Do you live in a gated community? 2 points
6. Do you consider having a maid, a cook, a gardener or a security guard in your home normal? 4 points
7. Have you altered the spelling or pronounciation of your traditional African name e.g Kofi – Cophi? 2 points
8. Do you have or ( Are you trying to add) initials such as Dr. Phd. MBA. MA. LLM to name? 3 points
9. Are you married witha hypenated last name? 2 points
10. Do your children (born or unborn) have hollywood names or a wierdly manufactured name? 5 points
11. Do you drive a luxury car? 5 points
12. Do you wear designer clothes? 3 points
13. Do the words Brazilian, Peruvian, or Indian, denote a meaning other than human race (think hair)? 5 points
14. Do you work, or aim to work with organizations such as the UN, IMF, WHO? 2 points
15. When asked about when you are going back home do you consistently say “in the next five years” year, after, year, after, year? 3 points
16. Do you find yourself correcting grammatical errors of other people? 3 points
17. When asked about your religious affiliation do you respond ‘I am a spiritual person’ ? 3 points
18. Do you and your friends fund the fiscal growth of companies such as British Airways, KLM , Delta and Lufthansa? 5 points
19. Do you refer to a politician in your home country as Aunty or Uncle? 6 points
20. Do you call the President of a country Mummy or Daddy? 10 points

If you got 40 points or more, you are a BONAFIDE Afro Bourgie

9 thoughts on “Afro Bourgie

  1. Well you are missing some obvious questions like:
    Did you grow up in Africa, but speak a western language like English or French as your first language? (that's gotta be about 8 points)
    Did you grow up in Africa but spend summer vacations in Europe or America? (5 points)
    Do you (or any member of your family) have to get a visa before you can visit your parents? (5 points)
    Do you have childhood friends scattered over 3 or more continents? (3 points)
    Have you ever had an argument about which major international carrier (KLM, British Airways, Delta, Lufthansa, Emirates) is the best, or which major international airport (De Gaulle, Heathrow, JFK, etc.) is the offers the easiest transit experience? (4 points)
    Do you have to use an international calling card to speak with your best friend? (5 points)

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